music...

......during the H.T. / Format Concert I knew the bass was my heart beat.

I listen to these songs and... my emotion...
..the words envoke all the tears I hide.

I have to close my eyes and pretend I'm on my own planet. I'm in space orbiting the world silently and all my blood cells are turning into stars and guitar riffs. My heart is a note. It turns into a bridge between the chorus and the next universe over... my level of being changes to my own dimention. My true home. This is where I belong. So I turn up the volume.

I've never felt this way. (But don't I feel this way every time?)

If I don't stop and listen, breath in, I'll burst into particles. Tiny particles of adore, passion, hate, intention and invention. Maybe an explotion would be good in my case? Poetry put to cords of the heart. My knees are weak. Collapsed lungs. My head hurts so bad pumping hard with the beats and my heart is in compition... I can't breath anymore...

wait

I never could.

I can't stop. I don't want to...

so do I need to be saved?

Ever heard that oldies song ‘Runaway?’

- - My sister and I have decided that’s one of Highway’s songs. All my dogs have *theme songs*… Of course, for Highway, we also have…
…”it’s my way, my way – cause I’m Highway….” Gotah love that Limp Bizkit.

My little blond one ~ Chi-chi has… “She’s a lady… woaaawoaaawoaaa she’s a lady.” Tom Jones. Also… “she’s a brick *dadanana* HOUSE…” When Godzilla and the Cheech (Chi-chi) are together we always sing ‘Ebony and Ivory.’ I sing “You are so beautiful (to me)” to Mapo. We used to sing a song we created for Teddy. (I can’t even explain how that one goes….

I love singing to my babies. My little Leia (she’s a cat) is on me lap now trying to get me to pet her and stop typing. She’s my monkey cat.
I think this is part of the reason I want to adopt rather than have children of my own. Adopting all these pets. How people leave these poor four legged lovers…I’ll never know? – with eyes that scream… please please – just give me an ounce of love and give you my life…. ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS LOVE YOU UNCONDICIONALY….
(…waoh I looked up and that sentence was all in caps… I think I’ll leave it that way)

I wonder how many hopeless romantics own pets? (Or would own pets if they weren’t allergic~!)

That was the only reason I almost didn’t get my stem-cell transplant. They told me I wasn’t allowed to be around any animals.

*smirk*

I told the nurse I couldn’t do that – I wasn’t going to get better unless I could be with Mapo. (My puppy.) She almost had a panic attack but she said okay. I had no immune system but none of my animals made me sick. Actually it was at my doctors office where I got sick~! My babies knew I wasn’t suppose to get sick. I love animals. *sigh*
After all that happy now I feel a little teary…. DAMN GEMINI TENDENCIES…. I don’t want to be sad anymore… never never again….
Depression in for the depressed…. *lol*…….

I wanna be safe. Happy. Healthy. I’m going to create Utopia… grated it may take me a couple lifetimes - but anything can happen…..

holy shit

awesomeitoshousness

I was so rock’n out – and in my little mind of minds I still am.

I got hugs from almost all band members. (Those hot hot band members.) (You know I didn’t go for *s.w.C.i.t.O.c.h.U.f.o.G.o.t.H.*) AND AND AND…

Okay so I did get proper shirts for The Format and Honorary Title in order to further my quiltdom. AND THEY ARE SIGHNED… *yah* to both bands…

And my shirt that said “these bands are so hot” in front. “The Honorary Title The Format” in back… they signed that too!!!

And I made four pens. *PENS* I don’t know if anyone went to summer camp in the 6th grade. I didn’t. But you learn how to take the tops and backs off ball point pens and wraps them in x-stitch floss in such a way that they don’t unravel. You weave words into them. (Think bright colors…)

They proudly stated:
I <3 THE FORMAT *(<- I weaved a little star.)
I <3 THE HONORARY TITLE
ANYTHING BUT THE TRUTH
LET’S TUNE OUT ! ! !

AND AS CHEESY AS THOSE PENS ARE – (even if they didn’t like them…) the bands at least pretended to like them. THANK YOU ~ ! I heard comments more than once – “Wow, that’s a true fan.” This quilt is going to have so much love sewn into every seam. (The pens were how I got hugs!)

During performance time – I’m sad to say the girl to my left… she was one of those people who probably HATE when audience members sing along AND hate it even more when the person next to them is dancing around like a loony… Well… fuck her cause I was doing both. I even think I stepped on her a few times. I was turning around to say I was really sorry for stepping on her (the place was packed liked pickles in a jar,) but as I turned that way to apologize profusely…. She was in ass.kicking stance and scowling at the stage. I’m sorry if she came to see Switchfoot and all she got was sorefoot - *rimshot* It was like standing next to a rotten dead fish. At least Meagan was on my right and dancing and looking stupid along with me. ‘Cause I’d have to say all of eight people in a pickle packed house did that little ‘First Single’ Format clap….. the girls in front of us was making fun of poor Nate for his clap. *We did not stay to see those little surferband girls trying to claw their way into sf’s pants. I DO KNOW… H.T. and Form. Didn’t receive the glorious respect they deserved.

And by the way – Christian I will never question your musical suggestions for me. Ever.

I have so much to comment on.

Went out with Meagan shopping before the concert. Were not many cute indie guys there. Mostly switchfoot lover boys. Freaking awesome concert. Hugged passionate musicians.
I think I've decided not to put NIN/Poe/maybe even no eels or Our Lady Peace. They can get their own quilt. I was thinking strickly new bands I'm finding. (thanks C!!! Hummmm.... that means I have to re.design me quilto.

how big should it be?????..... hummmm........

IF I NEEDED TO BE MORE EXCITED I GOT A LETTER FROM CHRISTIAN IN THE MAIL AND NOW I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO DISPLAY SEVEN PICTURES ON MY WALL IN SEQUENCE ~ I CAN SEE THIS WALL BECOMEING MORE PORNOGRAPHIC IN THE FUTURE...... I NEED TO DRINK MORE COFFEE IT USUALLY CALMS ME DOWN. NEW BRIGHT EYES IN MY HANDS. PICTURES OF E AND C. AND THIS KID KNOWS HOW TO PICK HIS STATIONARY~!!!!!!!

...*ohhhhh*........




............................................my head hurts.....

Ah~! I’m giddy…. What’s another word for giddy – I’m frolicking around the house with excitement. I’m going to go out today to see The Honorary Title and The Format….. (and Switchfoot but I don’t listen to them - *but* the dude in the video was wearing a Chicago Tribune shirt in the video… so they’re cool just not as cool as the other two….)

Hold… have to dance and scream for a second…..

Okay back…..

I have a shirt I made… I also made them pens (to be described later.) I’m so happy. AND, my lovely children, it’s about the little things……

Yup, you heard me right – cause it’s true. If I walk through House of Blues doors and rock out tonight I’ll be ridding on cloud 9 all the way back home and into my dreams about indie rockers all night (or morning or whatever.) Yah – that would be great – but things happen. What if for some reason I don’t get to see them? (It’s happen’d before.) This girl is not going to curl up into a ball and die. That’s okay. Partially cause all those little Switchfoot girls are going to get exposed to H.T. and Format~! They’ll go out and buy the CD’s and both bands will continue to make music because of it…

Also – I believe things happen for a reason, and that reason is for the better. If I don’t get to go – it’s cause something better is going to happen, maybe not right away but it’s right around the corner….

I didn’t get to go see the Format at the Social –Thank goodness I didn’t~! My experience may have been ruined by other individuals AND now they are playing with H.T. so I’ll get two shirts for my quilt tonight~!!!!!!!!!!!! ((Hopefully! *yippy*)

“May happy days lead to happy nights” – Shakespeare

Thank goodness – I’m calming down a little with the typing. *breath* good girl……

My nails say I <3 H O T B A N D S. that little <3 is suppose to be a little heart symbol… I don’t have a key for that… there should be a key for a little heart and a little star like the one in my name! I wonder if the nail polish fumes are affecting me…. Nah……….

Little things. I have many little dogs in my house.

*SCREAM* I have the music on in my house at obscene puertorican levels. No one in home. I'm going to go let my puppies out in a moment and dance and skip in my backyard. (Hopefully the faeries won't get me~!)

*lol* these bands are so hot I can't think straight....*lol*....
....maybe that's to private of a joke but 'o' well........

hungry. hopefull. half-wit?

happy happening
honestly HONORARY!
hysteric haiku

okay I'm just going to get more and more cheesy so I'm outie....

"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed

I'm giddy....

Dying Cub Fan's Last Request

By the shore's of old Lake Michigan
Where the "hawk wind" blows so cold
An old Cub fan lay dying
In his midnight hour that tolled
'Round his bed, his friends had all gathered
They knew his time was short
And on his head the put this bright blue cap
From his all-time favorite sport
He told them "it's late and its getting dark in here"
And I know its time to go
But before I leave the line-up
There's just one thing I'd like to know

(Chorus, sung)
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy covered burial ground?
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League

Told his friends "You know the law of averages says:
Anything will happen that can."
That's what it says.
"But the year the Cubs last won a national league pennant
Was the year we dropped the bomb on Japan"
The Cubs made me a criminal
Sent me down a wayward path
They stole my youth from me (that's the truth)
I'd forsake my teacher's
To go sit in the bleachers
In flagrant truancy

And then one thing led to another
Soon I'd discovered alcohol, gambling, dope
Football, hockey, lacrosse, tennis
But what do you expect,
When you raise up a young boys hope
And then just crush 'em like so many paper beer cups.

Year after year after year after year,
After year, after year, after year, after year
'Til those hopes are just so much popcorn
For pigeons beneath the "EL" track to eat
He said "You know I'll never see Wrigley Field,
Anymore before my eternal rest
So if you have your pencils and your score cards ready,
And I'll read you my last request
Give me a double header funeral in Wrigley Field
On some sunny weekend day (no lights)
Have the organ play the National Anthem
And then a little "na, na, na, hey hey, hey, Goodbye"
Make six bull pen pitchers, carry my coffin
And six ground keepers clear my path
Have the umpires bark me out at every base
In all their holy wrath
Its a beautiful day for a funeral,
Hey Ernie lets play two!
Somebody go get Jack Brickhouse to come back,
And conduct just one more interview
Have the Cubbies run right out into the middle of the field,
Have Kieth Moreland drop a routine fly
Give everybody two bags of peanuts and a frosty malt
And I'll be ready to die

Build a big fire on home plate
Out of your 'Louisville Sluggers' baseball bats,
And toss my coffin in
Let my ashes blow in the beautiful snow
From the prevailing 30 mile an hour south west wind
When my last remains go flying over the left field wall
Will bid the bleacher bums adieu
I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue

The dying man's friends told him to cut it out
They said stop it that's an awful shame
He whispered, "Don't Cry, we'll meet by and by
Near the Heavenly Hall of Fame
He said I've got season's tickets
To watch the Angels now,
So its just what I'm going to do
He said but you the living, you're stuck here with the Cubs,
So its me that feels sorry for you!

And he said "Ahh Play, play that lonesome losers tune,
The one I like the best
And he closed his eyes, and slipped away
What we got is the Dying Cub fan's last request

(Chorus, big finish, sung)
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy covered burial ground?
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League

Copyright Steve Goodman

*oi*

computers

I typed a sweet little deal - it might be lost forever.

My hair looked so good today. I ended up putting wax in it... it did exactly what I wanted. (I looked so hot by the way.) I didn't want to resort to wax cause I know this *ick* is going to be my hair for days - and now that I know it works *of course* I have to use it the concert in four days... and again I'll be thick and ready to light.

?sdrawkcab etorw hgoGnaV wonk uoy did

It's said to be a trait of genius. I realize I'm not one - but being a genius takes responsiblity. So I leave it to those Queequeg boys.... those *oh so* que.boys...

I'm happy just to support genuis anyway.

I have to go wash off my slutty makeup - I'm really glad I have enough...
...faith in myself?
........to wear 'slutty' makeup.....

Happy Halloween everyone!